As followers of In the Can might be aware... Cyrus Borg is obsessed with tetris. Here are some tips that he’d like you to know when playing the game:
**Note: if you are the sort of person that plays tetris in front of the television while waiting for a scene between Dr. McDreamy and Meredith on Grey’s Anatomy... If you can pet your dog Spanky or Rufus with one hand while playing tetris with the other... If you don’t dream of shapes during your REM cycle, than THESE TIPS ARE NOT FOR YOU!
1. To begin your serious tetris training you should create a space for yourself. I am advanced enough to use my office, however, you, little tetris minion are not. You must make a room, an alcove or a closet that has an internet connection and light without glare.
2. Make sure everyone knows about the space you’ve created. Tell your mommy, your wifey, rufus and whoever else roams your home NEVER to enter that space.
3. WARMUP. You might be 12 or you might be 52, I don’t care... You must warmup your wrists, your neck and for godsakes, don’t forget about your fingers. Whatever you do, don’t be a pussy and get one of those ergonomic wrist thingys for your computer. You must build the muscles so that you never lose a game due to wrist fatigue. No pain, no gain people.
4. You should have the following stocked in your special tetris space: eye drops, hand lotion, deodorant and a foot rest.
5. This is perhaps the most important rule (and one that I learned the hard way)... DO NOT tell anyone about your tetris obsession. Make them think that you’re using that private room to look at porn or something. The sound of their laughing once they discover what you’re really doing behind that door might make you question your life’s goals.
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