Friday, September 18, 2009

I am Megan Fox's Twin


I am Megan Fox's twin. Practically. And I am older and wiser. By older, I mean just by like a day, so don't get all geritol on me. I'm just older when it comes to wisdom. Like, I would never diatribe Michael Bay. I have the wisdom to respect him. He probably knew before all of us that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck were destined to be together. He could see it every day on the Harbor of Pearl - but did he say anything? No. He kept that spine tingling knowledge secret. Because he's Michael Bay. So all of you who love Megan Fox. Know that I am her twin. Practically.

So what are you waiting for already? Just cast me.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Dancing With the Stars Season 9 Is Cast

Hi. Its Sally Starlet. Again.

Ok, so I'm here looking at the cast list for Dancing with the Stars and apparently they have passed on me AGAIN. Whatevs. But ummmm wtf people who the hell is Tom Delay and how did he get a spot? What exactly is a GOP and if it gets you on the show how do I get one?

If you want to see the likes of me... check it out HERE

Friday, June 26, 2009

Sally's Thoughts on Farrah and Michael Jackson

Hi, It's Sally. Starlet.
I feel the need to express my inner beingness by fully exploring the pain I feel at the passing of an icon.

Farrah Fawcett.

Farrah's contributions to my life and my art can be summed up in one statement:
I have fabulous hair.
Farrah was the first person who helped me to fully realize that hair is a fashion accessory just as important as jewelry or bags or even shoes. Actually probably more important, cuz you can't really change your hair on a daily basis unless you invest in some killer wigs.

There is a whole slew of idiot boys out there like Moron-athon (see below) - who hung Farrah's iconic poster on their wall when they were kids thinking that her smoking bod was their proof positive that they were not gay. But I say to you that those same idiot boys can be seen prancing around NYC, in metro sexual clothes and Farrah's feathered hair. So really, who do they think they are fooling?

Hair is a daily expression of my mood, my spirit and yes, I will say it my soul.
Now I am not necessarily saying that your soul is not as awesome if you have bad, or dry, or frizzy hair like some people I work with, who I will not name, but may or may not be currently working on a script called Love is a Collard Green, that is totally lame and a waste of our precious natural resources such as film, and editing equipment. But I have noticed the coronary (see below).

Also Bernard is yelling that Michael Jackson died to which I am saying no comment, because I am not one hundred percent convinced yet that this is not a majorly brilliant publicity stunt and that MJ is going to rise from the grave.

There is no way someone that fabulous could die that young.

1. Jedi watch note: Jonathon would like it noted that he NEVER hung Farrah's poster on his wall, only Leia in the gold bikini. And that every day he strives to emulate the hair of Han.

2. Bernice here- I think that Sally meant corollary here, but she is not responding as she is busy maintaining the creation of her Farrah Fawcett reenactment wall.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Friday, May 29, 2009

Some Advice from Cyrus Borg from In the Can Productions

As followers of In the Can might be aware... Cyrus Borg is obsessed with tetris. Here are some tips that he’d like you to know when playing the game:
From Borg:

**Note: if you are the sort of person that plays tetris in front of the television while waiting for a scene between Dr. McDreamy and Meredith on Grey’s Anatomy... If you can pet your dog Spanky or Rufus with one hand while playing tetris with the other... If you don’t dream of shapes during your REM cycle, than THESE TIPS ARE NOT FOR YOU!

1. To begin your serious tetris training you should create a space for yourself. I am advanced enough to use my office, however, you, little tetris minion are not. You must make a room, an alcove or a closet that has an internet connection and light without glare.

2. Make sure everyone knows about the space you’ve created. Tell your mommy, your wifey, rufus and whoever else roams your home NEVER to enter that space.

3. WARMUP. You might be 12 or you might be 52, I don’t care... You must warmup your wrists, your neck and for godsakes, don’t forget about your fingers. Whatever you do, don’t be a pussy and get one of those ergonomic wrist thingys for your computer. You must build the muscles so that you never lose a game due to wrist fatigue. No pain, no gain people.

4. You should have the following stocked in your special tetris space: eye drops, hand lotion, deodorant and a foot rest.

5. This is perhaps the most important rule (and one that I learned the hard way)... DO NOT tell anyone about your tetris obsession. Make them think that you’re using that private room to look at porn or something. The sound of their laughing once they discover what you’re really doing behind that door might make you question your life’s goals.

Watch episodes of In the Can HERE

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Big Things Happening at In the Can

Coming Soon... new episodes of In the Can! While some of the storylines are still under wraps, I can give you a few hints:
Sally risks it all to get her diet pills from DeeDuu
Borg faces down the Tertris Championships
Something's happened to Millie

Stay tuned...

To catch up and watch previous episodes go to: In the Can

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Watch Episode 2, Part 11

Episode 2, Part 11: Training For Tetris

Bernice trains Borg to Win! Borg my very well Lose.